© 2011 Kandy’s Korner
Monday All Ready? Where did the week-end go? I have come to notice that Monday is the day most
frequently chosen to take a Five Minute Vacation. What is it about Mondays? Why does it have such a
bad reputation? Monday, the second day of the week, was named after the moon. But then again, so
was lunacy. That tells you all you need to know about Monday.
If you wake up in the morning late, because the alarm didn’t go off, you rush through a cold
breakfast, pick out your cleanest dirty shirt, run out the door to rush off to work, and you find you
have a flat tire. Traffic is backed up because of the accident in the construction zone that is in the
middle of the only road into the office. A speed bump that you hit just a bit too fast spills what’s left of
your reheated coffee into your lap. You finally get in 90 minutes late and are reminded you had a
meeting with your most impotant clent an hour ago. Oh yeah.....
If you’re looking for a dose of daily blabbering, be
sure to check out our blog here;
To be honest, Monday’s are not that difficult to survive. I think it all depends on attitude. As a devout practicing skeptic,
the proper attitude comes easy. Included with your ticket today, we are offering our passengers a Monday survival guide. If
you chose Monday to take your Five Minute Vacation; it is included with your ticket, and comes with no other additional
cost or obligation to you, our valued passengers.
The first thing you have to do to survive your Monday is set yourself up with the proper frame of mind. These thoughts
always seem to get me in the mood for Monday. Start your Monday Survival mode by slipping into these thoughts.
The next tool in your Monday Survival Tool kit should be a massive amount of caffeine, consumed in an ocean of coffee.
And the last thing you need in your Monday survival kit; a complete understanding and acceptance that you will be dealing with jerks and
assholes. You will deal with people, who at most times seem reasonably normal, but on Monday you have to question their sanity. This is just a fact
on Monday. Accept it, explore it, exploit it. Once you accept the fact that on Monday, most people, including yourself, are jerks; your acceptance
and resultant survival of Monday will begin.
The next thing you need in your Monday Survival tool box is knowing that things will go wrong. That just happens. No matter how well you
planned your day out, no matter how much planning and preperation you have done, something is going to get screwed up. Usually more than one
thing will go wrong. If it can go wrong, it will go wrong on Monday. Our patron philosopher, Murphy, wrote his famouse treatise on a Monday. Be
honest, when it does, do you not throw up your hands and say; It Must Be Monday.
So there you have it, a five minute survival guide for Monday. Remeber, in the middle of your Monday, when things go wrong, and you’re assailed
on every side by jerks, when nothing is going right, and the day won’t end quick enough; just toss up your hands and say to yourself;
And now, as you prepare for debarkation, and headed back into the real world from your Five Minute Vacation; we would like to point out our
sponsors and souvenir shops. You can pick up a memento to help you cope with Mondays.
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